“Don’t blink” they tell us. It will all be over before you know it. You’re going to miss this.
Do we ever listen though?
I thought, in the moments, I was cherishing them. Until they become a memory. Then I wish I would’ve held on to it longer. Closer. More tightly.
Today is the last day of June. Ian’s 5th birthday is coming up in just 11 days. Gabby turned 12 last month. These numbers don’t even feel real to me. How can my babies…. not be babies anymore?
I look through the old photographs and wonder where my chubby-cheeked, toothless smile babies went. It feels like it was just yesterday. The late nights. The bottle feedings. The diaper changes. Falling asleep in my arms. In awe about the world and the things around you. Getting excited for you to sit up on your own and cheering you on when you said your first words. Now they both sleep through the night. One of them can make simple meals, the other can’t, but still feeds himself. I’m buying underwear instead of diapers. One of them going into their second year of middle school, the other starting kindergarten. We’re helping one with friend problems and helping her to understand what is happening in the world. We’re cheering the other one on as he shows how intelligent and bright he really is, he just needs help expressing himself and verbalizing it. Ian is riding a bike. In 4 years, Gabby will be driving a car.
The world is going while we think time is standing still. It’s not. They are growing up faster than I can keep up with. I’m looking at my living room right now, a total disaster. There are toys everywhere, my couch is ripped up from the youngest, and there’s probably even more toys under the ripped-up couch. Sometimes I wish my house could be spotless and clean, but today, I’ll cherish the mess because I know I’ll miss it when it’s gone. When I don’t have little feet running around and it becomes quiet. When I have all that free-time I sometimes wished I had, I’ll be wanting this time with my babies back. When they were teeny tiny babies and I wished they would just sleep through the night? Yeah, I miss those times too.
I did what they told me not to do: I blinked.
Let’s put down our phones. Turn off the electronics. Spend quality time with your kiddos. Hug your babies just a little tighter tonight. Savor the way it feels to have them hug you back.
And when you get back into your regular routine tomorrow and point out the things you can’t wait for or the things you wish could tweak, take a moment to appreciate the mess. Appreciate the yelling and the tantrums. Appreciate the chaos. You’ll miss it one day.
