I’ve struggled with low self-esteem my whole life. Not that it’s something I wish upon anyone, but I always feel so alone in those struggles. I’m currently in one of these phases, so I thought I would share to maybe help someone going through the same thing. After all, if you can’t find what you are looking for, it’s up… Continue reading Love Me Through It
Scan day. It happens once every 3 to 4 months for the past 2 and a half years. That’s roughly a dozen scans at this point. And yet, things never seem to get easier. We should be used to this by now. Waking up at 4 AM on a Monday morning, leaving the house at 5 AM to be down… Continue reading The Days Before Scan Day
It’s been a while since I have given an Ian update. But with his next scan right around the corner, I figured it would be a good time to give an update. 12.17.2021 – Ian had his last MRI, which showed the tumors were still stable. We have an amazing oncologist who actually gave us the results in the waiting… Continue reading Ian Update
Dearest Alyssa, If you were asked to describe yourself in one word, there was a point in time when you would freeze like a deer in headlights. Describing yourself was one of the worst things that could ever happen to you because…well…you didn’t know who you were. You knew what roles you played: mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, student,… Continue reading A Letter To Me
My husband is building me a desk. I accepted a new position that allows me to work from home. Mike also works from home, so he has to make room in his office for a new coworker. The desk we have now is simply not big enough for the two of us, so he decided to build one. I guess… Continue reading He’s Building Me a Desk
*The original version of this post I decided to keep to myself. A reminder for me for all the things I am letting go of in order to set myself free. There are things in the original version that I’m not ready to talk about in detail. One of those things being something that happened to me that only my… Continue reading Setting Myself Free (Edited Version)
November 30, 2020. Ian had a minor surgery for a port placement following his very first chemotherapy treatment. December 6, 2021. One year and 6 days later. Ian officially finished this regiment of chemo. OUR BABY RANG THE BELL! What a year it’s been. I was so nervous for him to start chemo. I was a wreck for awhile. I… Continue reading The Ringing of the Bell
Last month, I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. A light that signaled the end of the crazy year we’ve had with Ian starting chemotherapy. But that tunnel seems to be going a little longer than I thought it would. Last Monday, Ian was supposed to have his 3-to-4-month scan. Unfortunately, our entire household came down… Continue reading The Light at the End of the Tunnel
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Ian getting an EEG to check for possible seizure activity. Back in September, we noticed Ian would get a weird, half-crooked smile on his face, then begin to dart his head back and forth, followed by dropping his head like it suddenly got too heavy. The smile and the head drop were all… Continue reading Update: Ian’s Seizures
When Ian was born, like most mamas, I had fantasies of the little boy he would be, what he would like, and the man he would turn into. I don’t think any parent can ever begin to prepare for their child to be sick. Finding out Ian had brain tumors sent me in a downward spiral that I’m still learning… Continue reading Kicking It