“Don’t blink” they tell us. It will all be over before you know it. You’re going to miss this. Do we ever listen though? I thought, in the moments, I was cherishing them. Until they become a memory. Then I wish I would’ve held on to it longer. Closer. More tightly. Today is the last day of June. Ian’s 5th… Continue reading Don’t Blink
Last week was Father’s Day, and I had some time to think about this day and what it means to me as a mother, a wife, a daughter. I had a chance to reflect on the life I was given versus the life I have decided to create for myself, as well as for my children. I personally do not… Continue reading The Father of My Children
6.2.22 One week before scan day. I did our June calendar earlier this week and completely forgot to put his scan on it. Maybe I didn’t forget, maybe I was just trying to block it out for as long as I can. Scan days bring a lot of depression and anxiety in the days leading up to it. I had… Continue reading Ian Update
We’ve all seen the cartoons- the ones with the protagonist facing a dilemma and is accompanied by an angel version of themselves on one shoulder and the devil version on the other. Do you ever feel like that in real life? I do. We all face a devil hanging out on our shoulder, whispering in our ear. They make a… Continue reading For Myself
In honor of Brain Tumor Awareness Month, I thought it would be a good time to give an update about our warrior. When my husband and I decided that we wanted to have another, the life we envisioned for our then-future-child was nothing like it turned out to be today. We had our boy name picked out since I was… Continue reading Go Gray in May
Life is a journey. Each of us are on our own paths. Along the way, our paths cross others, and they separate. They lead us to things we love, and things we hate. And all the while, it helps us find ourselves when we feel so lost trying to stay on our path. I’ve crossed into paths that didn’t belong… Continue reading Follow Your Arrow
I’ve struggled with low self-esteem my whole life. Not that it’s something I wish upon anyone, but I always feel so alone in those struggles. I’m currently in one of these phases, so I thought I would share to maybe help someone going through the same thing. After all, if you can’t find what you are looking for, it’s up… Continue reading Love Me Through It
Scan day. It happens once every 3 to 4 months for the past 2 and a half years. That’s roughly a dozen scans at this point. And yet, things never seem to get easier. We should be used to this by now. Waking up at 4 AM on a Monday morning, leaving the house at 5 AM to be down… Continue reading The Days Before Scan Day
It’s been a while since I have given an Ian update. But with his next scan right around the corner, I figured it would be a good time to give an update. 12.17.2021 – Ian had his last MRI, which showed the tumors were still stable. We have an amazing oncologist who actually gave us the results in the waiting… Continue reading Ian Update
Dearest Alyssa, If you were asked to describe yourself in one word, there was a point in time when you would freeze like a deer in headlights. Describing yourself was one of the worst things that could ever happen to you because…well…you didn’t know who you were. You knew what roles you played: mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, student,… Continue reading A Letter To Me